The current shouting match going in Washington is bad public speaking.  Good public speaking begins– literally and figuratively– with civility. 

“May it please the court,” says the lawyer.

“Madam Speaker,  Vice President So-and-So, members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans,” says the President at the State of the Union.

“It is indeed an honor and a privilege to be with you today,” say most commencement speakers.

“May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable to You,” says the preacher, beginning her sermon.

Speeches begin with an elaborate display of good manners because good manners flatter the audience and predispose them to find the speaker and his argument appealing.

So public speech begins—literally—with ritualistic words of respect designed to, at the least, get the audience to lend its collective ear to the speaker.

Later on in the body of the talk, if the speaker is advocating against an opposing point of view, she would be wise  to state that view in a fair and balanced way, and acknowledge the legitimacy of it.

Then, without demonizing the values and beliefs that support the opposing view, the speaker can demonstrate why that view is flawed, and hers is better.

In addition to treating the opposing view as reasonable, the speaker should be mindful of her own tone and word choice. 

We recognize that being uncivil earns the speaker notoriety, adulation from the partisan crowd, and maybe some emotional catharsis. 

But it tends to delay a considered decision made for the public good because it shuts down the other side’s ability and willingness to listen. 

In the end, civility gets things done better, cheaper, and faster.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

On the Senate floor, Judd Gregg compared health care reform to not only a “huge asteroid,” but a huge asteroid that will “land on our children’s heads.”

“Tyranny” and “socialism” are the buzz words of the day.   States are filing lawsuits because they believe the requirement that individuals carry health insurance infringes on constitutionally guaranteed liberties.

These are emotional arguments.  They inflame the already throbbing belief systems of some of our fellow citizens. 

If our friends and neighbors had the patience to reflect on these claims—that our children will be squashed by debt, and that our political freedoms have been curtailed—they might think twice before putting on their hats and coats and going out for tea.

Yes, we are in debt.  What portion of it comes from health care?   And what portion of it comes from razing and rebuilding a nation in Mesopotamia? Does health care reform add to our debt or reduce it in the long term? 

Can we do the research and get the answers to these questions before we start shooting life-threatening emails and bullets into the offices of elected representatives?

Is the requirement to carry health insurance worthy of the label, “tyranny?”   What about the requirement to carry automobile insurance? Is that tyranny? Or the requirements that we drive on the right side of the road, or obey the speed limits?  

No, these don’t amount to tyranny.  While these laws do limit our freedom of choice, we give up these lesser freedoms to preserve our own safety, and the safety of others.

And living without health insurance?  Is that such a great freedom?  If it is, it’s a freedom we should agree to give up for the same reason—the safety, security and well being of our American society.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Thank Your Wife

My father and I graduated from the same high school, 25 years apart. This past weekend we went to our reunion and watched as one of Dad’s classmates won the lifetime achievement award for his work in cancer research.

The winner was a distinguished gent, a good friend of my father, and a slow, but charming speaker. He told funny stories of his time at the school, and only at the end did he mention his work.

I happen to know, thanks to Dad, that the prize winner’s wife has been a a tower of strength over the years, but he never mentioned her as he recounted the story of his career. There she was, sitting in the front row, but not a single acknowledgment came her way.

The speech was largely well-received, and I certainly enjoyed the stories, but it would have been even better if it had included a gracious and loving tip of the hat to his spouse of sixty-odd years.

Such a remark would have alerted the audience that she was present in the hall, and would have made the remarkable accomplishments of the speaker’s professional life even more salient by drawing attention to his personal graciousness and private character.