My friend and colleague Patricia Fripp, one of the finest speakers and teachers in this world or the next, has a wonderful phrase.  “Sameness is the enemy.” 

What does she mean by this?  Here’s my take on it.

She means that speakers can’t hold the attention of a room full of people when they get stuck on the same channel for too long.

What is a channel?  Well, it’s something physical, mental, vocal, or verbal that you are doing too much of.

For instance, if your voice springs forth at the same volume all the time, your audience will tire.

If you plod or speed at the same pace for the duration, they will grow weary.

If you lack variety of pitch, and fail to make important words stand out from the less important, they will struggle to follow your reasoning.

If you stand in the same place for too long, your listeners will get fidgety.

If you move constantly back and forth across the floor like a shark, they will get distracted.  Such movement is noise, not signal.  It distracts from what you’re saying.

If you gesture too much, they will be drawn away from your content.

If you don’t gesture at all, they will struggle to understand your point of view, or how you feel about the issues, and will be less focused.

If you talk about yourself ad infinitum, their eyes will glaze over.

If slide after slide shows data, they will fatigue.

If you use fat words too often (big fancy ones) some listeners will withdraw in shame, and others will attack in a rage.

If you use skinny words (simple everyday ones) you may lose the more sophisticated members of your audience.

If you spend too much time in the world of the general and abstract, they will lust for particulars and stories.

On the other hand, if you deal exclusively in facts, they will wonder what your point is.

And if you make a theoretical case for action, they will drop out of listening because they hunger for a real world example to help them SEE what you SAY.

To paraphrase Adlai Stevenson, the way of the speaker is hard, requiring constant channel surfing in order to retain the attention of the viewer. 

Sameness is your enemy.  Variety, diversity, and surprise are your greatest allies.

Bring them with you to your next presentation.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Robert Zajonc (pronounced ZYE-unts) was an American social scientist who explored the interplay between feeling and thought—between emotion and cognition.

He was interested in determining which influenced the other more strongly.  On balance, he came down on the side of emotion.

He was best known for establishing what he called “the mere exposure” effect.  In this experiment, he showed subjects a series of random shapes in rapid succession—so rapid that they could not possibly tell if any were repeated.

When subjects were later asked which shapes they found most pleasing, they reliably chose the ones to which they had been exposed the most often, though they had no conscious awareness of the fact.

Familiarity, in other words, breeds a kind of affection, an established truth that has, ever since, encouraged advertisers to repeat themselves.

Speakers can do the same.  Find a phrase, an image, or a single word to weave throughout your talk. 

“I have a dream,” is such a phrase.  “Of the people, by the people, for the people,” is another.  And the current American President, Mr. Obama, has been repeating the word, “Responsibility,” perhaps to defuse the charge that he’s bailing out reckless banks and irresponsible people.

“Every word uttered strikes a note on the key board of the imagination,” said Ludwig Wittgenstein. 

Choose the words or phrases to repeat so that your audience will remember your message with affection.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Empathy is our ability to understand the thoughts and feelings of others.  It enables us to build rapport, listen, and take an interest in how others see the issues.

Many leaders get into trouble by getting too far ahead of their constituencies without taking the time to connect with those they lead.

Two examples come to mind.  The first is Paul Wolfowitz, who moved from the Bush II Administration to be head of the World Bank.  It was widely reported that he failed in that position because he was unable to “win the building” before he tried to conquer the global challenges he was hired to address.

The other is Laurence Summers, the former President of Harvard University and now special advisor to President Obama.  In his dealings with the faculty, he lost their support and was forced to resign.

Just as leaders need to “win the building” in order to move the organization in a chosen direction, a presenter needs to connect with the audience before he takes them on a deep dive into his content.

A presentation is a micro-moment of leadership, a potentially defining one.  How can we connect before we drill down into the details of our message?

Display your civility
Civility is a formal expression of empathy.  It is good manners.  It predisposes your audience to like you.  Civility shows respect for the occasion and for the audience, and in return, encourages them to be civil to you.

Display self-effacing humor
All humor is inherently persuasive, but self-effacing humor is particularly winning.  It shows the audience that you don’t take yourself too seriously, that you have a degree of humility and self-awareness, and that you are likely to be good company as you lead them through your content.

It’s all about them
As I have mentioned in other blog postings, make your content “all about them.” So many sales presentations could be titled, “My product is cool,” or “My Company is the best.”  It’s more effective to demonstrate an understanding of their situation and then introduce your product/service/company/idea as a solution to their problems.

Display similarity with your audience
People are likely to listen to those they perceive to be similar to them.  At the start of a talk, it’s a good idea to try to link yourself to what they are familiar with.   However, if it’s too much a stretch, it’s pandering.

I once spoke to a group of anesthesiologists, and pointed out that we were in opposite professions.  They knew they were in trouble if their clients were awake, and I knew I was in trouble if my clients were asleep.

It seemed to work.  Being honest about differences must help with credibility.

Act as if you heard they love you
Many great plays dramatize the fact that if we think somebody likes us, we like them back, and are much more likely to display gestures and expressions that communicate a sense of closeness.  (I am thinking particularly of Malvolio in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.)  Radiate your delight at being in the presence of your “loving” audience, and they will reciprocate.

Display your curiosity
One of the easiest presentations to give is to report research about the audience to the audience.  All audiences are fascinated with themselves.  If you can tell them things you’ve learned about them, or about individual members of the audience, and express real interest in what they do and how they do it, you stand a better chance of building rapport.

Remember this:  if you’re a speaker and you lack empathy, you’re like a sled dog who has slipped out of his harness.  You’re not connected, and you’re moving nobody forward.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.